In the Moment

There are moments where we feel so alone.  We could be lying next to the one we've committed ourselves to.  We could be surrounded by a life full of proclaiming lovers of our soul.  We could be kneeling in front of statues or praying to the god we love, yet somehow loneliness doesn't care.  Somehow that voice we try not to believe exists continues whispering thoughts we know can't be right.  Thoughts that no one truly knows us...gets us...loves us.  Just by having this voice that most of us have decided not to recognize makes us alone.  Even those who do understand themselves enough to make a choice not to disregard any voice in their head don't share such thoughts.  The few that think they're able to share still find it difficult to trust anyone with the complete truth.  We will hide just enough pieces so that this picture we have of ourselves is deep enough in our own shadow that sometimes we ourselves can only make out the silhouette.  We hide it in the same place we feel alone.  Why is it that we feel like such failures when we are the ones that make this daily decision to hide?

I have yet to meet someone in any situation that is immune to loneliness.  I have met people unwilling to accept this part of their thoughts as true reality, but lying to yourself about it just enforces the fact the feeling is there.  In order to (temporarily) silence such a beast, one must build the cage, a cage of strength, of stealth, and every other mental facility it requires to lock a piece of yourself away.

So why do we do it?  Do we not trust the people we choose to surround ourselves with?  Do we not trust ourselves that even in our own darkness we are able to see the good?  Do we feel guilty that such beautiful lives can give birth to thoughts of loneliness?  Why do we imprison parts of ourselves?  Is it vanity? fear? righteousness?  Does it even matter why?

I challenge you (and myself)... communicate times of loneliness.  Do not fear reactions or accusations because you will know that the lips of those people quick to assume and judge and lay guilt do so because they too have times of loneliness,but they are unable to release such hidden thoughts... and that's okay.  If you fear the reactions you receive, you have made a decision to fear the ones you love.  You have also decided to fear parts of yourself.  Commit to those you have chosen to love and shed light to a part of you that is true and real.  

On the flip side... if anyone decides to share their loneliness with you... don't take offense!  Don't even ask why.  Just listen.  Look them straight in the eyes and tell them that you love every part of them... even the parts you know they keep hidden away.  Most importantly recognize how difficult and uncomfortable it is for someone to share such thoughts that may not even make sense to themselves or you!

My theory is that when a voice deep inside of you is given the chance to speak a domino of understanding begins... a light arises from within you and you can start to love fully and confidently... you will be able to love like you've always wanted to!